Business Book Club: How to Break Up With Your Phone
I've set myself a goal to blog about the books I read. I will extract wisdom from the best business and personal development books I've read and share it with you.
This time around, I’m reading: How to Break Up with Your Phone by Catherine Price.
About The Book
While I wouldn’t call myself a phone addict, I chose this book because I felt I was spending more time than I would like on my phone. Could this book help me develop healthier phone habits?
Drawing inspiration from her own struggles with phone addiction Science journalist and self-identified tech addict, Catherine Price, explores why we are addicted to our phones and how we use them more purposefully.
In the first half of the book, she delves into the harmful effects of excessive phone use, covering everything from the ways phones are intentionally designed to hook us, to their impact on our brains, their role in increasing stress, and their interference with our ability to get quality sleep. She calls this the “Wake Up”
The second half is Price’s guide to mobile phone “the break-up.” plan. Rather than suggesting you give up your phone completely, this guide aims to help you establish a healthier, more intentional relationship with your device—the kind of relationship many of us claim to want but rarely take steps to achieve.
What Did I Learn?
The Wake Up
Let’s start with the problem with our phones. Here are just a few of the reasons why phones are damaging to our wellbeing.
1. Deliberate Design for Addiction: Smartphones and apps are engineered to exploit our brain's reward system. Features like notifications, app notification counters, and variable rewards (similar to slot machines) trigger the release of dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure and reinforcement. This creates a cycle of craving and reward, making it difficult to disengage from our devices.
2. Cognitive Impairment: Excessive phone use disrupts our ability to focus, damages memory, and fragments our attention. Constant interruptions from notifications and multitasking overload our brains, making it harder to concentrate and retain information.
3. Emotional Toll: Overuse of phones, particularly social media, can increase stress, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness. Comparing ourselves to others online often leads to insecurity and dissatisfaction.
4. Sleep Disruption: The blue light emitted by phones interferes with the production of melatonin, a hormone essential for sleep. Using phones before bed can lead to poor sleep quality, which in turn affects overall health and decision-making.
5. Loss of Time and Presence: Phones consume significant amounts of our time, often without us realising it. This detracts from meaningful real-world interactions and activities, leaving us less present in our own lives.
I imagine that few of these will be a surprise to most people. I think what really hit home here is that these are not accidental side effects of mobile phone usage but deliberate strategies by tech companies to keep users engaged. Tech companies put a lot of research into understanding how our brains work, which is why these strategies are effective even when we are aware of them.
The Break Up
So what can we do? Price offers a variety of practical tips to help us develop a healthier and more intentional relationship with our phones:
Assess Your Current Usage: Start by tracking how much time you spend on your phone and which apps consume the most time. Most phones have features which allow you to track this built in but there are apps that can do this for you if your phone doesn’t give you what you need.
Set Boundaries: Create "no-phone zones" or times, such as during meals, in the bedroom, or after a certain hour in the evening. This helps reduce mindless usage and encourages more meaningful interactions.
Turn Off Notifications: Disable non-essential notifications, including email and social media alerts. This reduces distractions and helps you regain control over when and how you engage with your phone.
Delete Problematic Apps: Remove apps that you find particularly addictive, like social media or games. If you still need access, use the browser versions, which are often less convenient and less engaging.
Create Physical Barriers: Use "speed bumps" to make accessing your phone less automatic. For example, put a rubber band around your phone as a reminder to pause before using it, or set up a lock screen image with a question like, "Do you really need to do this right now?"
Set Up a Charging Station Outside the Bedroom: Keep your phone out of reach at night and use a stand-alone alarm clock instead. This helps improve sleep quality by reducing exposure to blue light and the temptation to scroll before bed.
Practice Mindfulness: Pay attention to how you feel before, during, and after using your phone. Notice whether certain apps or activities make you feel stressed, anxious, or unfulfilled, and adjust your habits accordingly.
Include Others: Share your goals with friends or family and encourage them to join you. Having accountability partners can make the process more enjoyable and effective.
Try Trial Separations: Experiment with leaving your phone behind for short periods, such as during a walk or a meal. This helps you reconnect with the world around you and realize you can function without constant phone access.
Use Technology to Limit Technology: Leverage tools like app blockers (e.g., Freedom) or built-in phone features like screen time trackers to set limits on your usage.
Focus on What Matters: Start by asking yourself what you truly want to pay attention to in life. Use this as a guide to prioritise activities and reduce time spent on your phone.
By implementing these strategies, Price encourages readers to take control of their phone habits and create a relationship with technology that aligns with their values and goals.
Did I break up with my phone?
Sort of. To be honest I didn’t want to break up with my phone. I bought a high-spec phone so I can use it for work and spend less time chained to a desk. I was also already aware of what makes phones addictive and had taken steps to make my phone less seductive. I had already turned off all push notifications, removed app counters and made use of features such as “Do Not Disturb” and “Modes” to restrict my phone use. However, the book did prompt me to think about what I really wanted from my phone usage, where my phone usage was causing to me miss out on better things, and what I wanted to do with that time instead. I have increased my use of “modes” (I have a Sumsung) to grey out and block apps at certain times. I now have ‘work mode’ for the day to remove distractions, and ‘evening mode’ to stop me looking things up on IMDB and Google while I’m watching films or TV. I have also deleted lot of apps. The hardest one was EAFC Mobile. I love it but it uses gamification a little too well to get you hooked.
What did I think of the book?
The way the book is written, it assumes that everyone is a phone addict. Not surprising given Catherine Price’s inspiration for writing the book. However, I’m not a teenager who can’t live without my phone so there were large sections of the book that just didn’t resonate with me. For this reason, I found some parts of the 30 day plan a bit much. I didn’t feel the need for a ‘trial separation’ or even the need for 30 days. After reading the book, I made the changes I wanted in one afternoon. I feel much happier with phone usage and wellbeing in general as a result.
Reading the book was a good prompt to assess my phone usage and Price’s advice of thinking of what you’d like to do with the time you get back is a game changer. If you are to use your phone less, you need to decide on something you desire more than staring at a screen. Even if you’re not an addict, the book contains some valuable insights in to why your phone is so addictive and useful tips on how to reclaim control of how much time you spend on it. If you’d like to reassess your relationship with your phone, I’d recommend giving this book a read.
